Today is national toilet paper day. I know, seriously, right! Who thought of this?? Maybe the makers of Charmin.
Hats off (or should I say, pants down) to those little rolls of paper that we all hold so dear in that particular time of need. Heaven forbid that you are caught in a simple daily duty which all of a sudden becomes a tricky compromising situation when you are in a public restroom and realize that the precious roll is bare with nothing left but the roll of cardboard and a tiny little scrap of TP blowing in the wind, taunting you, as if to say “nanana, tisk, tisk, if only you had been here a little sooner you would have gotten my last square”.
This day we owe a nod of the head in gratitude to the fabulous soul who was struck with the notion of “hey, I am kinda tired of wiping my bum with these leaves or that prickly clump of moss” and also to the intuitive individual who said, “No more am I going to wipe my behind with a cloth and then have to wash it out and hang it to dry! I want to throw it away and be done with it!”.
I, for one am very thankful for this modern convience that helped us move past the Dark Ages and into the civilized life that we know today. So whether you prefer the soft caresses of a quilted square against your bare tush or the more gritty durable no-nonsense, know-it-is-done squares, may this day of all days find you properly wiped and comfortable, comfortable enough to go comando!